A Dish Best Served Cold
by kuraireikan
Summary: The repercussions of the Ikeda-ya Incident are farther reaching than anyone realized.
1. Rambling Reminiscence

_**Author's Note:**_ _It's been many years since I've written anything_  
 _myself and I am woefully out of practice so please bare with me._  
 _Thank you,_  
 _kuraireikan_

 **A Dish Best Served Cold**

 **Prologue**

In 1864 there were two primary factions at work on the streets of Kyoto, Japan.

The Ishin-shishi were ronin who followed the Imperial Loyalists, while the Shinsengumi were a secret police force under the command of the Shogun.

On July 8th of 1864 a plan by the Ishin-shishi to set fire to Kyoto led to a head-to-head conflict between themselves and the Shinsengumi at the Ikeda-ya Inn that would later be known as the Ikeda-ya Incident.

This Incident was actually a two-hour long battle that ended in the deaths of approximately seven, and the arrests of twenty three other, Ishin-shishi members. One member of the Shinsengumi died in the battle and two others later died from sustained injuries.

The number of innocent bystanders caught up in the battle is unknown, however...

The Inn was destroyed.

o0o0o

 **Rambling Reminiscence**

Six of one, half a dozen of another; they're so alike it's laughable. And yet, they'll kill each other wantonly, along with anyone else who happens to be in the way, the bastards.

Don't tell me to watch my tongue, I'll use whatever language I choose. Not as though there's anyone around to correct me anymore.

I suppose you are, girl, now that you mention it.

Fine then.

But they're still bastards, the whole lot of them.

I wonder what it would take to make them understand the true cost of their blind devotion to _duty_? Not the cost to themselves but the cost to others, to the ones who get caught in the middle...to us. I wonder if they stop to think of such things or if they assume we'll just be grateful for their _help_.

Blind indeed...and in deed, heh.

I outdid myself with that one.

It certainly was funny. It just so happens that you have no sense of humor.

Well I would laugh if I could but I can't. That doesn't make it any less funny.

It won't get better with time, girl. My laughter died with the rest of me and there is no coming back.

Hmm? Yes, I suppose I am in a morbid mood today, aren't I?

I know I should cry, but tears, like my laughter are no more, so you can stop harping on about it.

Besides, there is something else far more important and delicate that I need you to deal with now.

No.

I said no, girl, I don't need one.

There's no point in bathing me before dinner when I'm just going to spill half of it on myself. You can give me one before bed.

And I wasn't referring to your needing to deal with baths anyway. I meant deal with _this_ , this endless cycle you and I share here.

Just how long do you expect us to continue like this? You spend all your day bathing, changing, feeding me, and so on. And for my part, it's screaming every night as I relive that horror in nightmares, and then ranting and raving about it, day after pain-filled day.

 _As long as it takes,_ she says.

Don't be stupid, girl.

I don't need both eyes to see how you've waned since coming here. There's no point in turning your face away now; you're well past too late to hide it from me.

How could you think I wouldn't notice? You could fit your entire wardrobe in the bags under those eyes.

Will they need to be big enough to hold _my_ wardrobe before you realize this has to stop? And it does. I'm not the only one in this house who wakes crying in the night.

We need to do something about this once and for all or be stuck here alone indefinitely.

Yes, alone. Even the doctor can't be bothered anymore.

It is true! It's been a month since he's even set foot on this property.

I know neither of you expected me to live, and now that I have you're stuck here on clean-up duty while he declares me recovered and goes about his business elsewhere, bastard.

Don't be such a prude, girl. You've heard worse in the hospice, I'm sure.

Heh, recovered, what a joke. Laying here in diapers to keep from messing the bed I can't leave. Can't feed myself with the one hand I have left, and it's all I can do to talk through this mess that used to be my face. Though, I'm sure you'd prefer it if I couldn't.

Tell me honestly, would _you_ call this recovered?

No need to get upset. I'm not trying to shame you. I know what a shrew I can be on a bad day. Well, I'm a shrew every day but some are worse than others.

I think we're finally near the end of it, though.

What I mean is that I'm nearing my time to go.

No. You know I'll never leave this house.

I meant I'm nearing my time to leave this _world_ , not that I mind; there's nothing left for me here. I'd be just as happy to move on to the next, if I could. And yet,

I can't move.

I can't sleep.

Hell, I can't even die...

Hmm?

Oh, forgive me.

Lost myself for a moment. I really am being morbid today.

If you would be so kind...

Thank you. This is one of the last kimonos that Retsu bought for me. I'd hate to ruin it with tear stains.

Which brings me back to why I sent for you this afternoon. I believe there is a way that I can finally be at peace but I need your help.

No.

No!

I'm not asking you to help me end my life. I'll not make you carry that weight, but If I'm right about this then my end will come soon enough. That's my hope. But I can't do this alone. I can't move.

What I need is for you to be my arms and legs, my eyes, and...

To be my rage.

I need you to do what I can't; bring the full power of my vengeance down on those who are responsible for our suffering. Mine through their callousness, and yours through me.

Yes they are, and it's time they pay for it.

I'm beyond worrying about consequences.

Well that is the point, isn't it. So let them come.

My vengence upon them will trigger a need for vengence among them against me and it will perpetuate and cycle until I am released from this world. But by then, gods willing, they will know the cost of what they call duty to those they are sworn to protect.

Stop that, girl. This is not the time for water-works.

You know we will both be happier once I'm gone and there is no shame in admitting it.

What I'm trying to say is that I'm well aware of the burden that's been placed on you these many months. I can't imagine how hard it must be for one so young to be weighted down like this.

Don't give me that. You're not a priestess. For that matter, you're barely eighteen. You should be tending to the cuts and scrapes of children in a doctor's office or assisting midwives during births, not stuck here with me.

But don't worry. I believe what I have in mind may be the way out for both of us, if you'll lend me your strength.

Yes I do.

No, I don't expect it will make any real difference, at least not for me; I'll never get back what they've taken. But I'd no longer be stuck here in this mangled body and you would be released to move on with your life.

Yes.

Because you're important.

You're a lovely, well-mannered girl, but there is a difference between what's acceptable in the way of self-deprecation and humility, and what's just annoying.

Stop being annoying.

That's alright. Just mind yourself a bit from now on.

Where were we...

Ah, _vengeance_.

I wonder about it. Do you think it'll be as sweet as they say or as disappointing as I fear? Perhaps both. Or perhaps neither. I could live with it either way...or die with it I would hope, heh.

You know I should never have survived such horrible injuries; yet, here I am.

I've never been a violent person; yet, I can't stop thinking about how much I want to see their eyes filled with a suffering that mirrors my own.

Every day I visualize how it would happen from beginning to end, over and over and over again.

Every night I dream that I'm watching it; the way my revenge will play out—down to the last detail—is fixed in my mind.

I've repaid this debt so many times I could do it in my sleep.

If I could sleep.

If I could move.

But I can't move, that's why I need your help.

I know, this is much to ask of you, but you've also seen too many senseless deaths at the hands of those who believe themselves untouchable; the Wolves of Mibu and those Imperialist Dogs who march through the streets as if they own them. They cut each other down anywhere their paths cross with no regard for the innocents around them.

Well, the Dogs as well as the Shinsengumi must be made to understand. The gods through me, and I through you, will teach tham.

They own nothing.

They rule nothing.

They are nothing before our rage.

I want to try to make them understand, for once if not for good, the price the rest of us pay for their devotion. I want to make them feel this pain.

Not physical pain, or even the pain of whatever cold, dark place they go to in their minds when preparing themselves for battle.

No.

I mean my pain!

The gut-wrenching pain of losing that which is most dear to you; this pain that pours out from the empty place that now fills your chest and deadens that which was once your soul!

I wish they could feel that pain! I pray for it every morning and evening!

And I believe those prayers have been answered.

Yes, I do.

What rages in me at night and in the day, this pain induced need for vengeance; it is a vision. And this vision—this dream—is what's been keeping me alive.

No, I'm not feeling feverish, girl. This is the most sane I've felt in months.

I _am_ calm!

Yes, yes; in and out, slow and easy, blah blah blah.

I'm fine I said. Stop fussing.

Yes, I do intend to do this and you'll not talk me out of it, so don't waste your time, or mine.

No, it won't be easy.

It'll be very dangerous. But if this is a vision of what the gods expect of me, of what they're demanding of me, then there is no way around it. No matter how awful it sounds, we must do this.

Rather than helping me take my own life, you must help me take the life of another.

I need you to kill a man.

Yes.

Now, bring us a pot of tea and sit with me. I'll tell you how we'll end our suffering.

Yes, I truly believe there is no other purpose for my continued existence in this world, and when this is done, I'll be allowed to pass on to be with those who were stolen from me.

Your hands are shaking. Should we forgo the tea?

Heh, nicely played, but I can't forgo this path anymore than I can get out of this bed and walk.

Fine, but if it becomes necessary, I will simply hire someone else. Although, it will be difficult to find someone trustworthy enough for something so important.

Then I'll ask you to sleep on it tonight, but bare in mind; I'm doing more than asking.

I'm begging you.

Do this for me, to appease my rage and release my soul from this pain.

But most of all, I'm warning you.

Until this deed is done, my soul will never be free of this world...

And you will never be free of _me_.


	2. Plans and Persuasions

_**Author's Note:**_ _I have used (_ _ *****_ _) to mark specific words or phrases that I feel_  
 _require explaination. The follow up for these can be found at the end of each_  
 _chapter._  
 _kuraireikan_

 **Plans and Persuasions**

After that declaration and ultimatum, Akiko nearly fell out the door in her hurry to be out of the widow's presence.

She remembered little of what happened throughout the house for the rest of the evening. All she knew for sure was that she had managed to perform her duties, but only because no one had called her out for not doing so. She didn't even remember getting herself ready for bed. Aside from blowing out the bedside lamp, everything was a blur.

That night was quite possibly the longest of her life. Even as exhausted as she was—the widow had been right about that, at least—there was no room for sleep with so many things running through her mind.

How could that woman ask such a thing of her?

To kill a man.

She was a healer!

 _Yes, but you are also onmyouji*. Hasn't it been your family's duty for centuries to protect innocents, such as the widow, by destroying demons?_

Yes, but this woman didn't want her to slay demons. She wanted Akiko to kill men. Bad men granted, but men all the same.

 _Were they? Perhaps they had been possessed._

Then the demons needed to be exorcised. One didn't destroy the host unless there were no options left.

 _And if there_ _ **were**_ _no options left? Would you take this opportunity to show your family that you, too could be worthy?_

Her family was onmyouji, but Akiko herself had never displayed a talent for anything other than healing. She couldn't even read auras. But that didn't make her unworthy! She was a good healer!

 _But not good enough to heal the evil in these men, to drive out whatever demons may have possessed them._

That could only be done by a qualified onmyouji or priestess; by someone like her father, her brother, or even her older sister. But certainly not by the likes of her!

 _So then, not so worthy after all, are you? What if this were what the widow needed in order to_ _ **heal**_ _. Would you be able to do what needed to be done if that were the case?_

Do what was needed, or what was wanted? There was a difference.

 _Did it really matter which when so much was at stake?_

What was at stake was her soul, and the soul of the widow as well. Regardless of what she might want to do, she was not an onmyouji or even a priestess. She was, first and foremost, a healer. A saver of lives, not a taker.

 _And how many times have you witnessed the taking of an irreparable or gangrenous limb in order to save the whole?_

These and so many other thoughts fought their way through her mind as she tossed and turned that night, making sleep impossible.

Finally she roused herself from dampened bedclothes, pulled on her robe, and; keeping her small hand lantern semi-hooded so as not to wake anyone, wandered quietly through the large house.

It was peaceful at this time of night with even the staff tucked away in their beds. She often did this when she couldn't sleep, wandering out to the rear garden to sit and watch the sun rise.

But rather than her usual perch she found herself gravitating toward the private portion of the house, that area where the family's quarters were located.

It was no surprise that after such a tragic loss, the widow now lived and held audiences—court?—in a suite of rooms in the guest wing of the home. She could no longer stand to enter here.

This private wing was a separate building; the only things that connected it to the rest of the house were the bath and water closet, and a small cluster of servants' rooms.

She moved past all these, down the entrance hall proper, and stopped outside the room to the left. Slowly she slid the door open.

The room had belonged to Reiji, the oldest of the widow's children. The ten year-old's clothes had been neatly folded into his closet drawers while his books, writing materials, even his bamboo and wooden practice swords and kendo gear had all been neatly crated and the crates stacked, looking for all the world as if someone would be coming to get them in the morning.

She slid the door closed again before stepping across the hallway to open the one opposite.

This room was the same in size and general appearance. All of Raitso's things; his clothes, books and school supplies, even the eight year-old's hand carved wooden soldiers, all packed up and waiting for a moving crew that would not be coming.

Not while the widow still lived.

The only real difference here were the couple of childishly adorable sketches and paintings still hanging on the wall.

Akiko would never forget the day Ishikawa-Ojii-sama came with the workers to pack and remove it all. His reasoning—excuse—being that his daughter-in-law had enough on her plate, so to speak, without having to put herself through the pain of clearing all of these things away. She should concentrate on getting better, he'd told her.

The widow, for all her injuries, looked as though she would rise from her bed and tear him to pieces with her bare hand. And likely would have, had she been able.

As it was, she'd had to settle for glaring him into submission.

The meaning of the phrase, "If looks could kill," had never been more obvious.

 _Ojii-sama*_ left empty handed.

Akiko continued down the hall until she came to an ornate door right at the end. She entered ever so quietky, though she couldn't have said why. There hadn't been anyone here for months.

This had once been the suite of rooms belonging to the widow and her husband.

The two long but narrow rooms that served as clothing closets stood each to a side of a large sleeping area that boasted shelving units on the far side of the closet doors. She knew from her walks in the gardens that the area beyond the sliding doors directly across from her was one of the most beautiful to be found anywhere on the grounds of the eatate.

Within the right hand closet, Ishikawa Retsu's clothes and personal belongings remained untouched. Apparently his father's machinations had been stopped just short of packing out Raitso's room and hadn't gotten this far at all.

On the opposite side of the room; the widow's half, the closet was empty of all but her finest and most expensive clothing. The rest had all been moved but only because she was now staying elsewhere.

What did remain—aside from the widow's finery—were the sleeping basket and all of the toys and clothing that had belonged to little Minami. These had been neatly folded and put away in the special little closet drawers made just for her, the toys all sitting in their places on a shelf set above the drawer's chest. The sleeping basket stood at the ready next to the sliding door where the widow could have reached her immediately should she cry out in the night.

These things were not packed to move but had been put away, and with obvious care. She might be a shrew now, but the widow and her family had been, and still were, Akiko told herself, well loved by their house staff.

Here in the sleeping area, to the left side of his closet door, a shelving unit held Retsu-sama's katana and wakazashi on a simple, but beautifully carved and lacquered rack, and a small version of the Ishikawa family banner hung above it. The few smaller non-symmetrical shelf spaces to either side of the sword rack held items of sentimental value.

The widow's sleeping area shelves stood to the right of her closet door, directly across from her husband's. And while it also contained a few of the same smaller spaces bearing items of significance, the larger area equivalent to where Retsu-sama had set his swords, held a treasure of another sort.

The widow had made a lovely arrangement of all the various photographs of her family; and there were many.

Actual photographs, as opposed to artist renditions, were hard to come by, and expensive. Having even one was a sign of status, but to have this many...

She had not been aware that the Ishikawas were so well off.

A telling detail that would only fully register with Akiko later, after much needed sleep, was the fact that they were all here.

The only one missing was that of the entire family sitting together, all in their finest outfits, during last year's Gion* festival. It had been taken only days before the incident that had cost them all their lives. That one the widow kept at her bedside in her current quarters.

Aside from that one, all of the photographs were here in this private living chamber.

Not a single one of these lovely images were displayed in a more public area of the house. Not one was set out as a show of wealth to be flaunted in the company of less well-to-do family members, business partners or visitors.

Wealthy and modest.

These were good people.

 _What happened to them was a tragedy._

But it was not her tragedy to avenge.

 _Well, it's not as though the widow can do it herself now, can she?_

Why should anyone do it? Let it be, what's done cannot be undone.

Again with the spinning arguments in her head. Leave me _alone_ , she wanted to scream.

No such luck ever favored her.

 _No, it can't be undone_ , the thought floated up from the depths of her subconscious, _but you can prevent it from ever happening again._

Ever? This is just the one group, the one battle. There will always be more. Others always come in place of those who have gone before.

 _Others are not the reason this woman suffers. They are not the reason_ _ **you**_ _suffer. These are the ones resposible. These are the demons of the Shinsengumi, wolves among wolves. These are not worthy of your concern._

All are deserving of my concern.

But she knew she was lying to herself even as the thought crossed her mind. She had never been able to concern herself with everyone. This was perhaps the main reason she was unable to display the skills necessary for becoming a priestess, like her sister.

There were just some things she could not forgive, some people to whom she could not open her heart.

But while Akiko was no saint—and the first to admit it—the thought of killing someone,

No, of _murdering_ someone...

 _It isn't as though these people don't deserve it. What's more, they expect it. A cruel and violent death is par for the course with this lot. Some of them believe that to live to old age should be considered cowardice._

It was a convincing argument she told herself. But could she, someone who had dedicated her life to healing, really commit such an act, even against people such as this?

She didn't know.

But she did know one thing for sure and it was that she could no longer sit by day after day and watch the widow's suffering. It was tearing them both apart and something had to be done about it.

These were the thoughts that flew through her head as Akiko closed the doors behind her and left the private wing to wonder out to the garden, where she would once again sit and watch her own breath on the cold air until dawn.

No matter how she fought it, no matter how many arguments against it all she conjured, there was no doubt in her mind that she would end up agreeing to this.

She was just too tired to fight it, was her rationalization.

And so, she mentally wrapped herself in the pretty trappings of _justice_ and told herself that tomorrow morning she would give the widow her answer and resolve herself to taking that first step down a long and ugly road.

Would she ever make it back?

Only time would tell.

But for now, her fate—as well as that of the widow—was in the hands of the gods.

 _ **Notes: ***_ _An_ _Onmyouji was a spiritualist tasked with everything from demon slaying and exorcism to astrology and divination._

 _ *****_ _Ojii-sama: Ojii means respected elder. Sama is an honorific most often used when refering to someone of importance such as the head of a family or large household. In this case, the widow's father-in-law._

 _ *****_ _Gion Matsuri, the festival of Yasaka Shrine, is the most famous festival in Japan and takes place over the entire month of July._


	3. Fishing for Fiends I

_**Author's Note:**_ _Again, (_ _ *****_ _) denotes a word or phrase that may need special_  
 _explanation._  
 _Kuraireikan_

 **Fishing for Fiends I**

Akiko was surprised at how quickly everything fell into place once she had agreed to help the widow with her plan.

The first step had been acquiring an appropriate location. And, considering that the perfect bit of property was empty and waiting; well, it really was as if the gods were watching over this venture.

The property was small—just a strip of land between the fields of two farms—and consisted of little more than the plot the building sat on and the path leading to it from the road.

The house itself was square and tucked neatly into the middle of a square yard surrounded by a wall. Stone up to three feet, topped by another three feet of bamboo slat, and broken only by the front gate.

In the right corner of the front yard was a small koi pond under a tiny shade tree while the left corner held a small stone well fronting an array of vibrant green plants.

The front entrance of the house led into a hallway that ran straight through from front to back. A tidy little kitchen to the left served the sitting and dining area to the right that looked out over the koi pond in the front garden. Just beyond the kitchen and sitting area was a second hallway that ran all the way from left to right. Entrances from this hall led not only to the kitchen and sitting room but to two sleeping chambers behind them. At the end of the main hall another door led to the walkway that ran along the back of the house and to the sleeping rooms to either side before stepping down to the rear yard.

Aside from the small shed in the left rear corner, the majority of this yard was devoted to a vegetable and herb garden.

It was more than they needed for this venture, granted, but the main thing was that it was decently set apart without being completely isolated.

It was perfect.

It was also empty, to Akiko's complete surprise. Until she found out why.

Apparently there had been a recent rash of deaths here. Some form of illness had claimed three out of the five members of the previous owners' family. He had sold it off for a pittance and the widow's brother-in-law had been all too happy to buy it once he realized that he would be spared any possible future visits once his late brother's widow moved to such a remote location.

Little did he know that his sister-in-law had no intention of ever setting foot in this house.

But no matter, she thought. What he didn't know wouldn't kill him...probably.

It was a shame though. It really was a lovely little house.

Had they not been using it for this purpose she could have seen herself living here for many years, and not just for the house.

Akiko had come out a week earlier to begin establishing herself and had grown fond of the area in general. She had changed her style of dress to match that of the locals, and getting out in the sun as she walked to and from town had put some color back into her skin. The people here in Mibu and in town were friendly—for the most part—and she was good enough with her sewing and painting that there was never any lack of work for her

She had more than enough money to see her through the time she would be here; the widow had seen to that, but she liked knowing that if it came down to it, she was capable of making enough money to support herself if she should ever need to do so.

As for her neighbors, they all thought her a distant relative of the previous owner and she didn't bother to correct them.

Then suddenly, it seemed to her, before she'd even had time to think about it, everything was ready.

The hook was on the line, the line was in the water. All she needed now were the fish.

o0o0o

 _They walk to town for supplies and—I've heard—for candy. They often stop by the orphanage on their way back. I wonder how many of those children are there because of them._

It was to be expected of someone so young that, once her decision had been made, she rather pointedly neglected to consider anything else as an option. Therefore, her resolve to see this through would not be easily shaken.

She knew that having such a hardness within her was the very reason why she had failed to become a priestess like her sister.

But, she seemed to have the perfect temperment for _this_ work.

Was it possible that her having been assigned as the caregiver had been—as the widow believed—the work of the gods? That this plan was their destiny?

She told herself that it must be when the house had fallen into their laps so easily.

She told herself that it was obvious when the very job she needed to cement her disguise and her reason for being there was open and available.

She told herself that it just had to be as she set her left foot down between two stones and allowed her body weight to carry her sideways.

She'd been careful to make sure they were heading back this way before doing such a thing to herself. And thank the gods she had.

Akiko had believed this would likely turn out to be the most difficult part of the entire plan, and she'd been right.

She knew it was the most crucial.

Had the injury been too bad she would never have been able to get away afterward. Not bad enough to warrant their intervention, and she would have had to injure it again. The very thought of having to do that to herself while already in pain nearly made her sick.

Fortunately she'd gotten it right from the start.

She knew from experience that this was not a bad injury, but that it would smart for a few days. She could play this well for the sympathy she needed, but once wrapped she would be able to move at least well enough to get back to town.

She was ready.

Or so she thought.

Until she saw them.

The two men walked the old dirt road from town at a leisurely pace. The sun would set soon but there was no hurry in their steps even now. Their lack of conversation seemed more a sign of ease in each others' company than awkwardness.

Akiko marked their approach and was surprised to find herself nearly gasping for air. Whether in fear or anticipation, she didn't know.

There was no need for doubt now; she was completely prepared for this.

Then why was her stomach in knots? Why were her hands and face nearly dripping with sweat?

Because she knew there could be no turning back from this once started. If she chose to follow this path, she wouldn't be able to settle for half measures. Not with this. If she chose...

She could run.

The widow's reach was long. Even with the ability to disguise herself, Akiko could not hope to out run someone with the kind of money and power that the widow possessed. Even if only in her own mind, if she ran now, she would be running for the rest of her days.

She could lie.

When the widow asked, she could say she had done it. She could use the widow's own descriptions of what should happen to make it seem real enough.

Akiko didn't like to lie but in this case, to save lives and the soul of the widow—not to mention her own—yes. For this she could lie.

She could hide.

Before she had even realized what she was doing, she had turned her back, closed her eyes and begun to pray. _Don't let them notice me_ , again and again, like a mantra. It wasn't impossible after all. She was across the field and practically hidden behind a large stone.

 _Let them go on about their business and she would be on her way._

 _Please please please_ , she prayed to every god she could remember, _just let them pass me by._

The gods laughed.

o0o0o

 _You must be careful not to lose yourself to that boy's pretty ways. They call him The Demon's Child for a reason. Once he takes a sword in his hand, he takes it into his heart._

"Hello!"

Akiko opened her eyes and turned to see the two she had spied earlier in the distance now standing on the road directly across from where she sat.

"Are you alright out there?" asked the smaller of the two; the one the widow had called Okita.

The tall one—he must be Hijikata—could not have looked more bored if he'd tried.

Her heart skipped a beat. There was no turning back now.

"No," she hedged a bit as she called back, "not really."

At Akiko's admission, Okita immediately started in her direction to the obvious vexation of his companion. They seemed to be having a small argument. Okita—walking backward—was laughing, wheedling, and gesticulating wildly, while Hijikata—determined not to follow—found himself halfway across the field before finally giving up.

By the time they arrived he was in a rather unpleasant mood, balanced though it was by Okita's bubbly nature.

 _Yes,_ she thought to herself,

 _The gods are laughing_.

As the two walked around the large stone and came to a stop in front of her, she could not help but be anxious and awestruck in nearly equal measure.

Looking up at the younger man from her position on the ground—she'd been told he was a boy, but he was obviously older than Akiko—was bad enough, but Hijikata seemed a giant by comparison, his head nearly blotting out the sky overhead.

"Oh, sorry," said Okita, and with that he dropped unceremoniously to the ground next to her. After which he reached over, grabbed a handful of Hijita's _yukata_ _ *****_ , and yanked. The glare he received in return could have cut glass.

"Well then, sit _down_ ," the final word emphasized by yet another yank. "If this poor girl has to stare up at you any longer her neck's going to break."

This last was followed by a playful grin that did nothing to soften the continued glare. However, the very tall—at least from this angle—Hijikata did take a seat; by the stone, as far away from them as he could get without being rude, and where he could lean back in some semblance of comfort and remain as uninvolved in all of this as humanly possible.

The widow had been right.

This realization was almost as disheartening as it was thrilling

How could she have known what would happen in such detail?

Akiko could only guess the answer to that, but she knew what it meant for her. That she would likely be well on her way to dead already had she not followed the widow's instructions to the letter, and that she could still end up there if she weren't careful.

With her head spinning on such things it was no wonder she nearly jumped out of her skin when the young man seated next to her spoke again. She turned to him in surprise to see his eyes a near perfect match for the surprised O shape of his mouth. She couldn't help herself; she laughed, blushed furiously and apologized, only to laugh again.

Finally she gave up and simply buried her face in her hands. The stress must be catching up to her. She was becoming hysterical.

"Serves you right, imp," came the deep timber of Hijikata's voice from off to her right, "I told you she'd be better off without your brand of assistance."

Akiko peeked over her hands in time to hear a smirking imp say, "Don't mind Hijikata-san. He scares everybody. In fact, he's _so_ scary we use him as a litmus test for new recruits. Anyone who can look him in the eye and not drop dead gets to try out."

As his previous smile returned in full force—just in time to catch a flying sandal in the face—Akiko knew she had no choice but to carry through with her reason for being here, no matter how much she might regret it later.

She would either die laughing or lose herself to his _pretty ways,_ as the widow had called them, if she didn't kill this man as planned.

 _ **Notes: ***_ _yukata are robes most often worn by men in Japan during this time period._


	4. Fishing for Fiends II

_**Author's Note:**_ _Once again (_ _ *****_ _) is used for words or phrases of historical or_  
 _anime specific use that may require expalantion._  
 _kuraireikan_

 **Fishing for Fiends II**

 _What you must do will take no more than an hour but it is imperative that you make no mistakes. Any deviation from the plan could mean the end of everything._

The thought of killing once again brought her up short, the lightheartedness of the moment ending rather suddenly along with it. Seeing the change in her mood, Okita also managaed to curb his humor long enough to ask if she was alright.

"No, I'm afraid not," she said again, and admitted that she had twisted her ankle trying to take a shortcut through the field.

At her admission Hijikata all but lunged in her direction, causing her to nearly fall backwards in surprise.

"Easy," said Okita, to them both, as he steadied her while Hijikata resettled himself with a grunt. "Hijikata-san was a travelling medicine man once upon a time. He just wants to have a look at your ankle," and the smile that had been so playful only a moment before had become comforting.

Just how many faces did he have?

"Hijikata-san?" she tried on the sound of it as though she'd never heard it before.

"Yes," replied the smiling young man at her side, "and I'm Okita Soujirou. But you can call me Souji. Everyone calls me Souji."

"Takeshi Miori," she told them.

It was the name she and the widow had chosen as part of her disguise and while she had practiced using it often in this past week, she was still surprised at how easily it rolled off of her tongue.

"It is a pleasure to meet you Takeshi-san," and with this Souji bowed as low and as formally as he could, considering that he was sitting on the ground.

Once again Hijikata approached—much more slowly—and this time Akiko allowed him to examine her ankle with little fuss. Though she found herself blushing terribly at having these men handling her in such a way, considering why she had lured them here.

"Mm," murmured Hijikata as he gently turned her ankle this way and that, pressing ever so gently on the swollen area and asking how much it hurt.

Afterward, "It's a sprain, but not a bad one. You'll be fine if you keep your weight off of it for a few days. We can get you to the orphanage up the road and they'll give you a lift into town from there. Is there anyone you can send to an apothocary for the makings of a poultice? You're going to need it to take the swelling down," was Hijikata's rather professional assessment, after which he stared at her in such an overtly frank manner that it made her stomach turn.

Fortunately the sprain was painful enough that any discomfort on her part could be easily explained away. But he was still waiting for an answer.

"Well, no. I live alone at the moment, but I have a few herbs that are good for reducing pain and swelling at home," and with this she waved her hand behind her in as nonchalant a manner as she could muster given the scrutiny.

She had made a point of choosing this place; just shy of halfway between her house and the orphanage, so that if they were going to carry her anywhere, it would be to her own home. Not only would it be a longer walk to the orphanage, but what would be the point of carrying her at all, if only to take her in the wrong direction?

"Oh, you live in the inbetween!" exclaimed Souji with an almost childlike giddiness.

"I'm sorry, the what?" she found herself asking.

Souji was entirely too happy with himself at that moment and simply repeated, "the inbetween!" prompting Hijikata to smack him in the head before explaining, "He calls it that because it's the house in between the two sets of rice fields."

"Ah, I see,"she said, "and yes, it is...in between, I mean," and she tilted her head and smiled somewhat cleverly at Souji, who all but fell over and rolled with laughter.

Akiko was feeling quite pleased with herself, until he began to cough.

And couldn't stop.

It was a horribly deep and wet sound, that cough, punctuated by wheezing and whistling during the rare instances that he was able to catch his breath. And, it persisted for a good three minutes.

 _Consumption!*_

She'd seen it before, but never in one so young.

The widow hadn't mentioned this. Had she known?

"That sounds terrible," she couldn't help herself, it just slipped out. Souji winced and the look Hijikata threw her way said he wanted to eat her alive. And would have were he not so busy tending to Souji.

"I have herbs at home for coughs and colds, if that would help," she offered by way of apology.

"I have medicine," he replied with an almost caustic sneer.

"I see," she said, in a rather caustic tone of her own as she settled herself with her arms crossed.

"And of course you thought to bring the water and kettle with which to brew it," she shot back at him. "Where exactly might you be hiding them, I wonder?" and swept him with a look that was so openly appraising as to make a lesser man blush.

It rendered him speechless.

It rendered them both speechless, as Souji's coughing had finally quieted and his breathing had evened out.

"Well?" she asked impatiently.

The two of them looked at each other for a moment then back in her direction.

"Would you like to try out for the Shinse—, ow!" the blow to the head Souji received this time was considerably harder than the first had been.

"Shut it, imp," was all Hijikata said before bowing low from the waist. Then, "We gratefully accept your offer of assistance and ask that you allow us to escort you home and tend to your injury as a token of our appreciation," he finished before raising himself back to his full sitting height to find both Akiko and Souji staring at him.

This time it was their turn to look to each other then back at Hijikata in disbelief, wearing identical wide eyed expressions.

o0o0o

 _All preparations for the tea must be completed before they arrive. No last second sleight of hand will go unnoticed by men like these. They have an animal instinct for survival and eyes like the hawk. Let them do as much of the work for you as possible. It raises less suspicion._

Once the shock had worn off all around—more like Hijikata knocked it out of Souji—They began preparing for the little trip to her house.

"Would you please stop hitting me!" Souji had wailed after the last cuff across the head he'd received.

"Would you please stop acting as though I'm a boorish moron with no manners at all," Hijikata replied as he handed Akiko's pack over to Souji.

Although Akiko found his manner of proving this point somewhat telling.

"Forgive me," the younger man said with a small bow as he took the offered pack. "I've never really seen you in a position to be humble before. You caught me off guard."

Apparently it was as rare for the one to be serious as it was for the other to be humble.

Hijikata scrutinized Souji carefully, looking for the tell-tale smirk.

There was none.

"Hnh," was the only reply as Hijikata knelt down and took her into his arms with far more grace and gentleness than she would have expected. He was also considerably stronger than she had expected as he managed to lift her as easily as he would have a baby.

Not that she was large or any such thing, but she had been working with patients in one form or another for almost four years now. Part of her job consisted of bathing and cleaning a variety of people, all of whom she'd had to lift or carry at some point. She imagined herself to be far more muscular—and therefore heavier—than most of the woman this man dealt with on a regular basis.

Which apparently made absolutely no difference to him whatsoever.

She decided to take advantage of this and asked Souji if he would allow her to carry some of the packages. She explained that she felt odd having to be catered to like this and wished to be of some help, even if only in token form.

Souji let her have the smaller packages that they had been carrying, which transfered the weight of those items from him to Hijikata; a fact that Hijikata himself did not miss. They were really only a few parcels of sweets, but given his condition, and the added dampness and chill in the late evening air now that the sun was behind the trees, every little bit would be helpful.

The sun had fully set while they were walking to her house even though it had taken them practically no time at all to get there. But with sunset came an even deeper chill. Based on the pain in his joints, one of the older shop owners in town had predicted snow for early morning.

Akiko knew that if she didn't play this just right, they would find an excuse to leave before her task was completed; for the sake of Souji's health if nothing else, and she would be at a loss to stop them.

As they entered through the little gate she took a small lantern from its hanger just inside. She made sure this one was always lit to assure anyone passing by that the place was not abandoned. She didn't need any unexpected visitors.

"Would you mind if we light the yard lanterns?" she asked while still in Hijikata's arms, and here she made a point of casting her eyes down a bit, "They help to chase away the shadows."

Let them believe she kept it lit for this reason. The thought of her being afraid of the dark would make her seem weak and help to put them off their guard. And certainly it was to be expected of a woman living alone in these times

"I can do that if you like," said Souji, "that way Hijikata-san can get you into the house and start tending to that ankle."

"Thank you," and she gave him a small bow of her head.

"No," Hijikata replied, "I want you both inside. Then you can get a fire going while _I_ light the lanterns."

End of discussion.

Souji took the lantern and began moving toward the house where he stepped aside as Hijikata carried her in through the front entrance and set her down on the hall landing. He then waited as Souji lit the two lanterns in the hall before taking the gate lantern from Souji and heading back out, closing the door tightly behind himself.

"Kitchen?" asked Souji as he took the small parcels from her. She pointed him to his left. He set them down next to the kitchen door and turned again to her. And with every bit as much gentleness as Hijikata, he removed her shoes before helping with her coat.

After placing both of their shoes near the door and hanging their coats on the hooks provided, it was his turn to lift her as he said, "Where to?"

"Please don't! What if you should start coughing again?" she blurted out without thinking. Something that she dearly needed to stop doing if she intended to survive this night.

"I'm stronger than I look," was his reply—in a colder tone than she'd heard him use so far—as he headed toward the door opposite the kitchen.

"I'm heavier than I look," was hers—in the most apologetic tone she'd used so far—as she reached out and slid open the door to the room across from the kitchen.

His grin was once again impish but he held his tongue on that point and instead asked about wood. He went about collecting it and one of the hallway lanterns, before using them to set a cozy fire going on the hearth.

Souji sat down next to her as they both began to warm their hands. Eventually he asked her quietly, "Do I really seem that frail?" with a look in his eyes, not of fear exactly but something...

Just then Hijikata returned with a pail of water from the small well outside. After removing his shoes and coat he retrieved the small packages by the kitchen door and headed inside. His sudden appearance had caused Souji to jump and after having gathered himself he made a point of sitting straighter, taller, and smiling more.

So that was it, she realized. He didn't want to worry his friends. And seeing it she once again began to wonder if this was the right course of action.

However, in for a penny, in for a pound, she'd once heard a westerner say. He'd had to explain it to her then, but she knew it fit her situation now.

 _ **Notes: ***_ _Consumption was the name used in that era for what is now known as Tuberculosis._


	5. Determined Devotion

_**Author's note:**_ _The (_ _ *****_ _) will continue to be used as previously, and I thank you for your patience with this story so far._  
 _kuraireikan_

 **Determined Devotion**

 _You'll need something sweet to offset the flavor. I suggest honey, though the boy will have candy with him. What kind of candies do you think he'll bring to your tea party? More importantly, what kind of tea goes best with poison?_

"Souji, would you and Hijikata-san care to have tea with me before you leave?" she asked, "I doubt you'll have had time to really warm up before he's finished bandaging my ankle. It's the least I can do."

"I'll ask Hijikata-s—," was as far as he got.

"We don't have time for anything fancy," Floated out of the kitchen just then. Not surprising he could hear them as the doors to both rooms were open.

"I only wish I could do something fancy," she trailed off as Hijikata came across with bandages and a ready poultice for her ankle, " I have nothing like that."

She knew it would take only a couple of minutes before he was ready to go but Souji had taken the opportunity to head into the kitchen and return with both of the teapots and the only two cups she had.

"I know it's getting late but shouldn't Souji at least have his medicine before he heads back out into the cold?," she said, in an attempt to keep Hijikata here a little longer.

The manner in which Souji froze in place and scrunched up his face told her all she needed to know about _his_ thoughts on that matter, "That's very kind but not necessary. I can wait until we get home," he deflected with impressive grace, but Hijikata did not agree.

By now he had finished with her ankle and was already pulling the medicine pouch fron his sleeve. He reached for the smaller of the two teapots and Souji reluctanly handed it over.

"I have a few snacks, rice cakes actually, in the pantry," she said in way of an aplology to Souji.

"Ah, rice cakes sound nice," said Souji with a slightly forced expression.

"I'll understand if you'd rather not," she replied, then waited exactly two heart beats before setting the hook.

"I have a bit of a sweet tooth and tend to drown mine in honey."

The change in his expression, while subtle, was obvious all the same. "Most people can't stomach them but I'm afraid they're all I have here today."

"Please, don't apologize. We'd love to stay for a bit, wouldn't we, Hijikata-san?"

Another taciturn, "Mm," was the reply. "As if you haven't had enough sugar today."

And from that moment on, they were hers; hook, line and sinker.

o0o0o

Souji volunteered to go to the kitchen for the rice cakes but Hijikata decided he'd best do that himself. "They might not all make it back across the hallway otherwise," he explained.

"Stay and take your medicine," and as Souji began to protest, "there's no reason not to start on it now: I'm coming right back," he said as he climbed to his feet.

"But Hijikata-san," Souji whined, "I just thought..."

"Souji," and the tone of voice, though not angry, made it absolutely clear; this conversation was over.

Souji stopped acting the part of the spoiled child and gave Hijikata a smile and a nod before sipping the foul smelling medicine. But even though he had given up on his little charade, he could not hide the scrunch between his eyebrows when he drank it.

"This is your worst brew yet." Souji said in little more than a whisper.

"You always say that," came the reply, made faint by the distance of the kitchen pantry. A distance from which he could not possibly have heard Souji.

Souji smiled and Akiko found herself doing the same.

"Because it's always true," he said as Hijikata came in with a bundle small enough to fit in the palm of his hand, wrapped in bamboo leaves.

This was obviously a ritual for them and seeing it answered a couple of questions for her.

According to the widow's information, Hijikata was the second in command of the Shinsengumi, and yet he regularly went out and walked to town for supplies. Akiko had been around long enough to know that things don't work that way. Officers as highly ranked as Vice Commander Hijikata—and even First Squad Captain, Okita Soujirou—don't make supply runs. Such tasks are left to the rank-and-file.

In fact, they had little in the way of supplies with them. Any they might have paid for earlier today were likely sent back on a cart with a few other members of their group. These two men did not come for supplies but for something completely different.

One such thing was the candy. It was true that Souji did love his sweets, and he did share them with the nearby orphans that he sometimes played with, when his health allowed.

The other was medicine.

Hijikata came to town himself so often because he couldn't trust anyone else to do it; to buy the correct medicinal plants, herbs and roots, dried or fresh, that he needed. For what, she hadn't known, until now.

And worst of all, the fact that he had to do this meant that every other possible cure for Souji's illness had already failed, and a long way back from the look of it.

Once again she found her resolve waivering. How could she cause this young man to suffer any more than he had already? The widow herself had not suffered the sort of lingering, horrifying pain and fear Souji would know before his end, even should Akiko turn and walk out the door right now.

Her reason for harming him no longer existed; her being here was counterproductive. The widow wanted them both to suffer, yet giving Souji a relatively quick death tonight would be a mercy.

And there it was.

The reason she needed to continue on this path, to not break her promise to the widow.

Souji might be a demon in battle, when he faced off with other demons as intent on killing him as he was them, but here and now, he was a very young man dying far too soon of a wasting disease most often seen in people twice his age or older.

And she was in a position to give him peace.

She was a healer after all, and though she could not heal him in this life, perhaps by setting him free to begin the life cycle anew, she would be healing him in the next.

Once she had regained her composure she went about making them tea. She went ahead and divvied up the rice cakes for Souji's sake so he would have something to help with the taste of his medicine, something he seemed to appreciate.

She and Hijikata waited for the tea she was brewing in the larger of the two pots to steep.

During those few minutes they all seemed to decide that now was the time to shift, all three at once, by degrees or by feet, into different areas or positions.

Hijikata had chosen to sit in the corner formed by the front wall of the house and the wall closest to the hallway, for easy access to the kitchen if need be. Now he shifted so as to lean back into a more comfortable sitting position.

Souji scooched backward a little and leaned against the opposite wall with the one pillow in the room to separate him from the coldness of the stone.

And she settled at the hearth, but on the side closest to Souji, whom she beilieved to be the least threatening of the two.

Once they had seated themselves comfortably, Akiko poured tea in the remaining cup and when she nodded at Hijikata, he came over to receive it politely, then returned to his seat.

At this point she looked toward Souji who brought over his cup to be refilled, with something far more tasty than medicine this time, before returning to his seat as well.

She then offered Souji the rice cake bundle again and he was more then happy to help himself to another one. But when she turned in Hijikata's direction...

"No, thank you."

Obviously he was disinclined to eat something so sweet but she hadn't been worried. The idea of staining the Shinsengumi reputation by being discourtious would never occur to him. And if his manners as a "wolf" were so bad that he refused without realizing his misstep, Souji would be sure to set him straight. All she needed to do was act the perfect hostess while in obvious pain. To refuse under such circumstances would be more than discoutesy, it was outright rudeness.

That's what the widow had told her; it's what she had told herself!

He had said it in the least offensive tone of voice she'd heard from him thus far. But the worst was yet to come.

"You're going to need your strength to get through this next week with that injury. It would be best for you to keep a few of them for yourself," he said, with a polite nod.

 _This can't be happening_ , she thought,

 _Impossible._

The widow had promised her that Hijikata would not be able to decline no matter how much he might want to. But if, by some bizaare twist of fate he did so, pressing the point of politeness, especially with Souji there to back her up, was a sure win. And yet, it was Hijikata, one of the most surly men she'd ever had to deal with outside of her hospice duty, who was using politeness in order to refuse.

She was stunned into silence to the point that she wasn't even aware...

"Takeshi-san, are you alright? You're crying," Souji's voice was calm, but ice cold; it was not loud, and yet it seemed to roar. After which he turned to Hijikata with a look that spoke volumes in a language Akiko did not understand. This took her completely by surprise.

Souji was more than angry, he was furious! and it seemed to her that he was furious not with her but with Hijikata. Why?

"No, no, it's nothing," she said hastily as she turned away to wipe her eyes with shaking hands.

Why?

Why was she shaking at the possibility of this not working? Shouldn't it be the other way around? Shouldn't she now be relieved?

 _What's happening_ , she thought to herself as her heart raced and her hands shook. Was it possible that she really wanted to kill this man?

No.

Then why?

Panic.

After all; everything the widow had said would happen so far had done so, exactly. But if she were wrong about this—a truly crucial part of the plan—then she could be wrong about anything, maybe even everything, from here onward!

And if that were the case, then this could be the last pot of tea she would ever brew. For the first time since the widow had mentioned this idea, Akiko knew true fear.

o0o0o

 _You needn't worry that they will see it coming. You have no bloodlust for the wolves to sniff out, as long as the herbs you choose combine with the sweetness of the honey to mask the poison perfectly._

She suddenly felt very sick and before she realized it she was rewrapping the rice cakes. The sickening sweet smell was making her worse.

"Please don't," it was Souji now who had moved close enough to see that she was badly rattled, "He's right. Please, you should try to eat, and I would be happy to join you, with or without the need to be polite enough for the both of us."

And with that he glared at Hijikata again. His voice was almost back to normal but in his eyes was that same piercing look that he'd leveled at Hijikata a moment ago; the one that said, "Here there be Dragons..."

She had to tear herself away before it swallowed her whole.

 _The "Demon's Child" indeed, and in deed_. Wasn't that what the widow had said? For the first time, Akiko believed it. She had assumed that in any fight between the two of them, Hijikata would win hands down. Now she knew better.

Now she understood.

The widow had explained to her that it was Hijikata she hated most, and Hijikata that she wanted to make pay. That's why Akiko had been so confused when told that her target was Souji.

She understood that it would hurt Hijikata terribly to lose a subordinate under his care, but it still seemed an odd way to go about things.

But now she understood.

Souji was dangerous.

And if she was to have any chance in all the hells of surviving this...

Souji had to die.


	6. Tainted Tea for Two

**Author's note:** _My apologies to everyone for having forgotten about this fic. I posted the first six chapters of a twelve to fourteen chapter story and then stopped for reasons I don't even remember. Over the last few days I have gone back and revised those first six chapters for typos as well as a few minor content changes. I am currently doing the same for the next five chapters, after which I will be re-writing and extending the final chapter (the ending). I rushed it at the time I originally wrote it and that's not fair, to you or to the story. It deserves a proper ending which I will do my best to get to you soon._  
 _kuraireikan_

 **Tainted Tea for Two**

She had to pull herself together, and quickly.

She turned to Souji slowly and did her best to get things back on track.

"I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, Souji-san," she nodded.

"Just Souji, please," he corrected with a slightly pinched smile.

"Souji," and she nodded again, eyes downcast. "I admit that Hijikata-san's response was a surprise; so much so that I shifted somewhat and was reminded rather strongly of how we all came to be here," she explained. "It was a particularly painful error on my part, which is what brought the tears to my eyes. And unfortunately, it has also put me off my appitite," she added as she gently moved the rice cakes closer to Souji, "but please do help yourself to as much as you like. The thought of their spoiling bothers me almost as badly as my ankle."

It was all she could think to do in the heat of the moment.

She knew that they would be aware of the cost of honey and sugar cane. Anyone with a sweet tooth would. This was the time of year when all the confectioners nearly doubled there prices due to the limited supply of good quality ingredients.

As part of her disguise she was dressed in a manner that was to be expected of a lower middle class young lady. The sort who would have to work long hours to save enough yen to buy honey at the current market prices.

To refuse her now would be completely unacceptible.

"You need not worry, Takeshi-san. Nothing is going to go to waste today, is it Hijikata-san?"

This last was such an obvious challenge that Akiko wondered if Souji had even heard the explanation for her tears.

"No," came the soft, if gravelly reply, "not today." And with that Hijikata held out his hand for a rice cake which Souji wasted no time in taking to him.

After giving one sticky cake to Hijikata and laying one out each for Akiko and himself, he pulled a small bag of sweets from his sleeve pocket and spread its contents in front of the hearth, near the remainder of the cakes before again looking at Hijikata expectantly.

Hijikata in turn brought two small packages out of his own sleeve, one containing a selection of dried fruits while the other held pickled vegetables.

Akiko couldn't help but be touched by this small offering and bowed as graciously as she could given that she, too, was sitting on the floor, and with a sprained ankle..

Afterward, Souji and Hijikata ate their rice cakes in silence while Akiko used that time to add fresh water to the pot hanging over the fire.

It was obvious from the grimace that the bitter taste of tea with sweets did not please Hijikata one bit. He said nothing, however, and alternated between a bite of cake and a sip of tea until they were both gone.

Souji's reaction was even worse. He nearly gagged and looked as though he might not finish it. Whether this was because he'd eaten two rice cakes and several candies already or because he was unaccustomed to bitter flavors in general, she didn't bother to speculate.

"I'm sorry," she said, her eyes once again downcast, "It's my fault. If I hadn't made such a fuss earlier. I'm afraid I let it steep a little too long, and now it's nearly cold as well. Please, allow me to start again."

Her act of self deprication followed by her reaching for the cup was all the excuse Souji needed.

He downed the rest of his tea in two swallows.

Akiko covered her mouth in a manner that would look as though she were stifling giggles. It was by the thinnest of margins that she was able to take the cup back when Souji held it out to her. After which she turned away as if to pour herself a cup, but her hands were shaking too violently now. They'd notice in a minute, despite her clutching at the cup to hide them.

"Would anyone care for more tea?" she asked still clutching at the cup, "I'll make a fresh pot if you like."

The sound of the, "No, thank you," in that deep timbre, overlapping Souji's higher pitched and brighter, "Not for me Thanks," made it difficult to tell how far things had gone. No matter, it would happen soon enough and her ankle wasn't in such bad shape that she couldn't get out of their reach if need be.

She leaned over the hearth and gently washed the cups out in the pot over the fire before drying and placing them on the tray next to the teapots.

"Would you care for more rice cakes?" she was chattering now to keep them from realizing.

 _Just a little longer,_ she told herself.

"Forgive me for not joining you, but with the pain of my ankle, I'm afraid I'm not up to it," she said, and paused.

"Takeshi-shan?" and there it was.

It had begun.

"Yes?"

When she turned back, Souji was watching her strangely. He slowly raised one hand to touch his lips, and then poke at them, before his hand fell back into his lap.

Hijikata hadn't moved but from his expression it seemed that he was doing an internal check.

Souji looked thoroughly confused for a moment where as Hijikata's eyes narrowed as they attempted to wrap their heads around it.

"I don' unahsh...," he was attempting to say when realization struck like lightening.

Souji's hand once again moved, a spasmodic motion that was likely his attempt to reach for his sword, before falling to his lap once again and sliding off his leg to land palm up on the floor beside him.

Hijikata faired better, managing to struggle upward to one knee and get his sword halfway out of it's scabard before falling forward. His normally lightening fast reflexes, even slowed to this extent, still allowed him to get one hand down to spare him falling flat on his face, but just barely.

From there he pushed upward, ever so slowly, to his hands and knees and started in her direction. Fortunately for them both, he collapsed before reaching—and falling into—the fire still burning on the hearth. It would have been impossible for her to move the near dead weight of a man his size before the fire did irreprable damage.

As it was, it took nearly all of her strength to pull his upper body back into a sitting position and drag him backwards to where she could once again prop him up against the wall, and in a manner that ensured he would not shift and fall sideways. He had only made it about a foot, thank the gods or she would have had far more than I mild sprain before it was all over.

Every few seconds she could feel the slight twitch of a muscle here or there, most likely from Hijikata's attempts to kill her while she was within arm's reach. Based on the fact that he was trying to glare holes into her the entire time, it was obvious that his current physical restrictions had done nothing to dull the absolute fury in his eyes.

Until he saw Souji.

The sudden change in his demeaner caused her to turn as well.

While Hijikata's fury had surprisingly little effect on her, the look in Souji's eyes effected her greatly, as it did Hijikata.

Souji, unlike his friend, was completely unable to move or speak. And unlike his friend, his eyes were not filled with rage but with a sense of betrayal and fear.

Tremendous fear.

Once again, she felt her resolve weaken.

 _It's too late now._

 _It always was._

Souji was still in almost exactly the place and position he'd started in so there were very few adustments to make in his case. Hijikata might take some work, though.

She moved quietly, and as quickly as possible, into the sleeping room behind them and retrieved several decorative cusions and support boards.

She placed cusions on either side of Souji before getting him under the arms from the front and moving him into a higher sitting position. His back against the pillow behind him, braced on eaither side by cusions under the arms—hopefully this would at least keep him from falling sideways—the final piece being the folded cusion she placed under his knees to prevent a downward slide.

 _This should do,_ she thought

She studied Hijikata carefully before moving in and using a combination of support boards and cusions to do the same for him that she had done to Souji. It took surprisingly little time and when done she stood back to view her handy work.

They sat directly across from each other in the room, propped against opposite walls, just as the widow had insisted upon.

Leaving the one she hated uninjured but killing the one he cared about instead was bad enough. Doing it with poison would be considered by most as both cowardly and nasty. But to set it up so that the one was forced to watch this death by design?

Akiko was beginning to think that perhaps she and the widow were far more demonic than the demons they had hunted.

With this thought all the tension, nervousness, and fear she'd been battling all evening left. Now, a wave of exhaustion the likes of which she had never known; not even in the widow's house, came over her.

Truly, it was time to bring this to a close.

o0o0o

 _When the time comes, you must find within yourself a steel the likes of which you never knew existed. A steel even stronger then that of their blades._

"Gentlemen, there is nothing you can do so you may as well save your strength," Their looks of deadly rage mixed with shock and betrayal were difficult to ignore. However, she had a job to finish and so quickly returned to her place.

 _Cold_ , the widoe had said. _Cold like steel_.

So be it.

She began, "to answer the questions that I know you have..."

"You have been poisoned."

"I have used two different toxins delivered in several ways," she stated.

"The teapots and cups were all lined with a thin residue. Not one that is dangerous alone if used in small doses for relaxing tight and painful muscles, but a high enough dosage can knock out an ox," she explained. "The point of this was to not only put you at ease but to ensure that your bodies would be all the more susceptible to the rest."

"Blowfish toxin dried and loosely ground before being added to the tea leaves, as well as a very small amount of it in liquid form, along with snake venom, mixed into the honey. None of the dosages when used separately are enough to kill a man, but when all three are combined...," she finished.

With this admission Hijikata's eyes went wide before narrowing again, as much as possible under the cicumstances, and there was the tiniest of squeaks from Souji's direction. "Yes, Hijikata-san, you know exactly what that means, don't you?" she taunted mildly. "Shall I explain to little Souji since you're in no condition to do it yourself?"

"The muscle relaxer not only puts you at ease but lowers your heart rate, making it harder to notice something that raises your heart beat. Something like a combination of a very small amount of snake venom and blowfish toxin," she began to explain.

"That went into the rice cakes that were served first because the flush it causes—the increased heart rate which in turn causes the blood to rush through your veins—could be written off as a sugar high," she explained, as she undid the bandage around her ankle..

"It puts your entire body into full adreneline mode, as if you were in battle," she paused for a moment to look at Hijikata, "It also tends to numb the tastebuds, Isn't that right Hijikata-san?"

They were both breathing heavily by now and it looked as if Souji couldn't decide whether to burn her alive with his eyes or just cry. She chose to ignore him and, having repositioned the poultice, began to rewrap her injuried ankle as she spoke. "Even though Souji ingested twice as much as you did, Hijikata-san, it was a mild dose to begin with. It probably wouldn't have killed him," she admitted.

"I used it primarily to cover the taste, and hasten the effect, of the larger dose of blowfish toxin in the tea. And, it's that toxin, on top of all the rest, that will kill you," she whispered as she met Souji's glare with as much of one as she could muster herself. "It is, as Hijikata-san well knows, a paralytic."

After this she dropped her eyes and went back to finishing her first aid before saying,

"I can assure you gentlemen, there is no way out of this until it has run it's course," she informed them, "and by then, it will be too late."

"You may also be wondering what you have ever done to deserve being treated this way by the likes of _me_?" she asked as she completed the work on her ankle and began to gather together the tea set.

And after a pause...

"Nothing."

Their inability to move did not spread so far as to effect their expressions. At least not those which could only be seen in the eyes.

Their sudden shock was real enough.

"You owe me nothing," she continued. "Consider this to be just one of those random acts of violence that are so prevalent here in our lovely city. The kind that the Shinsengumi are so good at wading into with their blades swinging indiscriminately," and with that she headed toward the kitchen, stopping only once as she turned to slide the doors closed.

"Hijikta-san," she said just before closing the door completely, "You should know. That hole in your chest where your heart used to be?"

"It never goes away."


	7. Uncomfortably Numb

**Author's Note** _ **:**_ _I was recently notified through FFnet that a kind reader had favorited this piece. That got me thinking about it and I went back to have a look, check for typos and possible needed revisions (of which there are many). That was when I realized that the last posting for this story was in December of 2015, when I finished it. Unfortunately; and for reasons I can't remember, I only posted half of it. I'm going to pick up the torch on this one again, clean it up, and see if I can't get it up for those who would like to see how it ends. Wish me luck, folks._

 **Uncomfortably Numb**

And just like that, she was gone.

 _Gods what I won't do to that bitch when I get my hands on her!_ is what Hijikata would be thinking, he was sure. That and all other manner of vile things, which she did deserve Souji had to admit.

Something else he had to admit was that she was very good.

Her choice of location, injuring herself in such a way, having the poisons already in place, and knowing which one to use when...

Had she known that he would need medicine after a day out in the cold? Had she set up the smaller pot just for him or just in case?

There were so many questions he wanted to ask her.

But she was gone and they were stuck here, frozen in place.

And he was dying.

He knew it. He could feel it. He tried again to force his body to obey him.

It wouldn't.

She'd known what she was doing when she picked her poisons. And she was right, blow-fish toxin was a paralytic.

In small doses it paralyzed the muscles. Pretty much all of them except the ones used for automatic functions.

Things like the heart, lungs, the brain, as well as the internal organs and the five senses.

This was why he couldn't move; why he couldn't get up and go to Hijikata now, when his friend most needed him.

But why he could sneeze, blink—almost—when his eyes burned, or cough. It was why he could still cry.

And he was crying.

Because he was coughing.

Not the deep hacking cough he was used to; his paralyzed chest and abdominal muscles were limiting his ability to draw enough air for that. It was a small cough of almost no significance.

And that was the problem.

His coughing fits weren't caused by the usual congestion associated with some kind of bad cold. He had blood and fluid in his lungs that needed to be expelled, but his body was no longer able to do that. If this continued for too long, he might drown.

Although he seriously doubted it would continue for that long.

He was pretty sure that he would suffocate before that happened.

The automatic functions were not effected when small doses were used. But small doses had not been used here. Especially not on him.

A relaxant in the cup with his medicine, venom and toxin in the two rice cakes he ate, and more toxin with his cup of tea.

No, not a small dose at all, not for someone of his size and in such poor health.

It had been a very large dose and in larger doses the internal organs, such as the lungs, would stop working, and he would stop breathing.

And that was the point. This had all been aimed at him; he should have seen that when she said she used honey on her rice cakes. He had never believed in coincidences before, but today he hadn't thought twice.

Because he was cold, he was tired, he hadn't wanted Hijikata-san to know how awful he felt, and because she used honey on her rice cakes.

It was his fault that they were both here, that they both might die.

Although, Hijikata-san had taken less of the poison, and he was a big, healthy man. He had faith that Hijikata-san was strong enough to overcome it. But it was still his fault.

His fault that he—at least—was dying.

And so he was crying.

Not out of a fear of death as he wasn't particularly afraid of dying, specifically. Souji had been preparing himself for that eventuality for over a year now.

Nor out of a fear of pain. You didn't get to where he was without being able to handle pain.

But to have it happen like this, in front of his best friend, and neither of them able to comfort the other.

No gallows humor at the end, no one nearby to warm you as the cold sets in, no last words, no one's hand to grip in that final moment of defiance and refusal to leave it all behind.

To be in the same room, only to watch the other die alone, could there be a more horrible experience?

Ten years of training together to get to where they were. Five of those years spent fighting side by side, covering each other's backs.

Two years of walking to and from town together for every new medicine that came along, only to have to clean up the blood from his latest coughing fit when it didn't work.

Two years of walking to and from town together for the sickly sweet candies that were the only things, the only flavors, strong enough to clear the constant coppery taste of that blood from his mouth.

Hijikata-san—, no.

Not san.

Not now.

Not ever again.

His friend, Hijikata Toushiro—

Toushi.

After such an incredible investment, all that time and effort trying to hold back the inevitable, to give Souji as much of a future as possible; only to have it all stolen away. That was bad enough.

But for Toushi to be forced to watch it, like this, unable to help his friend through it, unable to provide even the smallest comfort...

That was the hardest part, for them both. He wanted that comfort, needed it even, but not as much as Toushi needed to be able to give it to him.

And Toushi was not a man to accept failure laying down; or in this case, sitting up. He would rage.

Yes my friend, he thought. You are the strong one. You will survive this.

And, he hoped, find her before his rage wore itself out on the Shinsemgumi themselves.

 _Gods what we won't do to that bitch when we get our hands on her!_

 _You will find her, and when you do, my soul will sing through your blade,_ he thought.

And he prayed the gods would see fit to send that thought on to his friend.

Because sending his thoughts was all he could do, all he had left to give now. Even the tears he'd let flow to tell his friend that he still had some small semblance of control, that he was still all here, even those were beginning to desert him.

His breathing had gone from rough and ragged to shallow and now was faltering altogether.

He was no longer coughing.

He was no longer crying.

But across the room sat his friend, and with his vision failing he could just make out,

Toushi was.

o0o0o

 _Gods what I won't do when I get my hands on you, bitch!_ he thought, as he watched her slide the door closed.

This was followed by a slue of mental curses that would have burned the ears from a demon if they'd been audible.

But cursing her to all the seven hells seven times over was getting him nowhere.

Finally, when he could avoid it no longer, he shifted his eyes to Souji.

Oh gods! He's crying.

Souji didn't cry, not since he was about ten years old. Oh he loved to play the pitiful little scamp, but he was no such thing.

Thanks to me.

This kid might have a heart of gold, but he also had ice water in his veins. He was not a child.

But he is still a kid.

And he's crying.

Dammit, I need to move!

He couldn't move.

He tried to tell himself that the kid couldn't blink properly and his eyes were just watering. He tried.

It didn't work.

This was more than just watering. The tears were running down his cheeks, in at the corners of his mouth and...there it was.

The blood.

Oh gods, not like this!

He hadn't noticed right away because they were so much smaller and quieter than normal, but it was obvious now.

Souji was coughing.

And what tiny amount of blood and fluid was managing to come up, to clear itself from his lungs, was waiting on his lips. Waiting to mix with those tears and continue on their way down to drip lazily off his chin and onto his light blue yukata.

That light blue, quilted winter yukata that all the commanders and captains had saved and pitched in to buy for him. Knowing he had that to keep him warm was the only reason Hijikata had allowed Souji to continue walking to town with him, especially on these cold, wet days.

He had never regretted a gift as much as he regretted this one right now. Knowing that if he'd never bought it, the boy would be home and safe, not sitting here with blood staining that yukata that he loved so much.

The boy.

Yes, no matter how you sliced it, no matter how much of his soul he had relinquished in order to become the swordsman that he was, Okita Soujirou, Captain of the First Squad, was a twenty year old boy.

He should never have been here.

 _We should never have been here._

He tried to speak to Souji with his eyes, let him know that it would be alright.

The coughing was easing, and with it, the ragged breathing. Hijikata allowed himself to believe his own lies for just a moment, prayed that Souji would as well.

Everything will be alright.

But it wouldn't and they both knew it.

Souji's breathing had gone shallow, his tears no longer ran.

So fast! It's happening too fast!

And Hijikata knew why

Souji had ingested more than double the poison that Hijikata had. Twice the rice cakes and twice the tea.

That alone would have put him in grave danger even had he been the same size as Hijikata, but Souji's body mass was so much smaller than his, and Souji was sick.

The bottom line was plain.

Souji was dying.

The boy who had sacrificed most of his soul in order to follow in his friend's footsteps, was dying.

Right in front of him.

This cannot happen!

This must not happen!

But there was nothing he could do. Nothing but watch.

Then dammit, he would watch. No matter how much it hurt, or how much he wanted to turn away, he would watch. Because it was the only thing he had left to give, now.

This child who had been the only student who could put up with his attitude.

This boy who had willing followed a demon into battle when he should have been playing kick ball.

This friend who sat across from him, alone, scared and in need of comforting more now than ever before in his life, and who was probably more worried about his demonic mentor than himself.

Because even now, the kid had a heart of gold.

Souji was The Demon's Child, his child.

And as the Demon who had created him, it was Hijikata's duty to watch.

And watch he did; as the tears dried to streaks down Souji's cheeks, as the shallow breathing slowed, as the last little bit of blood was brought up from lungs struggling for air and forced out past pale lips by the final exhalation.

The death rattle.

He watched to the very end.

And when Hijikata could see from the blueish tint of the lips and eyelids, and the slump of the body; when he could see through his own tears enough to know it was over, He howled.

His throat was still paralyzed but his lungs were not.

With no thought at all and only emotion as his guide, he pulled in as large a breath as he could manage and let it out.

Pure rage and pain forced past frozen vocal cords and out into the night in the form of a long, low, mournful howl that sent shivers down the spines of those who heard it.

A reminder to them all why the Shinsenguni were known as the Wolves of Mibu.


	8. A Hazy Shade of Winter

**Author's Note** _ **:**_ _I can't say how long this will take as I want to go back and fix the mess I made of the earlier chapters before I go full speed ahead, so please be patient. In the meantime, I offer you chapters 7 and 8 as an apology and peace offering._

 _Thank you_

 **A Hazy Shade of Winter**

Sometime later, after noting that his left thumb was twitching, he raised his head to look once again across the room.

 _Not a dream then._

He had hoped.

When he had once again become aware of his surroundings, he had hoped it was a dream. That the rawness in his throat was from an oncoming cold and not hours of silent screaming. That the coldness in his body was because he'd thrown off his blankets and not because he was in shock.

That his seeing Souji's pale white body propped against the wall across from him was because he was dreaming and not because Souji was dead.

But it wasn't.

And he was.

And everything was just...so,

 _Wrong._

This was all wrong. He was supposed to be the one.

Obviously he hadn't been planning to commit seppuku* before Souji could die on him. The kid was always going to go first; they were pretty sure. But not like this. Not without a fight, or what would have been a fight, if given the chance.

 _If she hadn't been such a coward._

He continued to move his thumb as these and other thoughts flowed through his mind until he was moving his entire hand. He began to work on moving them both, along with his feet, and before long he was able to lean forward enough to put some of his weight on his hands.

At this point it no longer mattered to him if the rest was still numb. He didn't care if he fell on his face and broke his nose, or any other part of his anatomy. He didn't care how much it hurt because he deserved it, all of it.

What mattered was getting to where he had to go.

Slowly, so very slowly, he worked his way across the room until he could reach out and touch Souji's hand.

And then he pulled.

He hadn't waited until he was close enough to lean against the wall next to the body of his friend, or even until his own body could hold more than itself semi-upright.

He just pulled, and as Souji came away from the wall and into his arms stiffly, they fell together to the floor.

He lay there, in that room with only the barest hint of light and warmth radiating from the fire that had all but gone out, and held his friend close, trying to share what little of his own warmth he could.

He's not dead, he told himself, he's just really cold. If I can warm him he'll wake up.

If I can just get him warm, he'll be fine.

He told himself this as the cold of Souji's body began to seep into him and make him shiver.

He told himself this as his tears dripped down and smeared the blood, long since gone rusty brown, on the boy's yukata.

He lay there and lied to himself for what seemed like hours until he was sure he had regained the full use of his limbs.

After gently placing a pillow under Souji's head and covering him with both of their coats, Hijikata did a thorough search of the entire property, starting with where she'd gone for the cushions. It did not escape his notice that not everything she may have considered valuable had been removed. The injury had been as bad as he thought then, or she would have been able to take more with her.

He returned to the front room with a nice, thick sleeping coverlet and spread it out on the floor. Using the tip of his sword he cut a gap in it dead center side to side, and one third of the way from top to bottom.

Next he dressed himself and Souji in their coats and shoes before lifting the boy's body onto it and raising the short end until he could slide the gap over Souji's head.

After laying the body back down, he tied a section of rope he'd cut from the well bucket around the waist and the boy was snugly wrapped in a poncho, of sorts.

He slid another section of rope under the poncho at just about mid thigh height and tied the wrists with a third.

Once done, he squatted down in front of the body. He once again pulled Souji up into a sitting position against his back, and lifted Souji's tied hands over his own head. He then took the ends of the rope still laying under the coverlet and brought them to the front, crossed them over his chest, and pulled them up past his ears before tieing them back behind his head.

Leaning forward, he took the weight of Souji's body onto is his own back, got a good grip on the rope supporting that weight, and lifted.

As he stepped out of the little room he used one hand to grab a hall lantern and threw it into the pile of cushions. Let the place burn. Right down to the ground.

And as he passed through the gate,

"Hold on for me just a little longer, Souji."

"We're going home now."

o0o0o

It wasn't until he nearly fell down the dike and into the rice field that he realized he couldn't see where he was going. Not that there wasn't enough light, there was loads of it; too much in fact.

Hijikata looked up. The moon was full. Souji loved full moons. Damned kid would stay up all night to watch how the light changed as it moved across the garden. He loved how it made everything glow.

Hijikata looked down. The ground was covered in snow. Souji loved snow, too. He hadn't been allowed out in it these past couple of years, though. It was the worst kind of cold and damp for him.

"You could have told me before I nearly walked us off the side of the road, imp," he said out loud.

Silence.

Complete silence, and not just from behind him. That was one of the things Souji loved about snow; the way everything got so hushed, how it felt as though you could hear the very world itself turning.

He had been right, Hijikata could hear everything, except the one thing he wanted to hear most. But no matter how hard he strained his ears, the only heartbeat he could hear was his own.

He turned in place, searching for landmarks now buried. Aside from the tracks he'd made himself up to this point, the blanket of snow lay unbroken. Pristine white covered everything as far as the eye could see, shining in the light of the full moon.

One of the first things Souji had asked him after getting his new winter yukata was if he could go out and play in the snow this year.

"Now's your chance, kiddo," he said, and after a minute, "I'm not waiting out here all night, you know."

But there was nothing. No sound escaped that heavy blanket of white.

After one more full turn to get his bearings, Hijikata began the slow trek back to the monastery, through the first snow of the season.

"You would have loved this," he told his friend as they headed home.

o0o0o

As the youngest of the Shinsengumi captains—younger even than Okita-san—Toudou Heisuke and his squad tended to catch a lot of flack from the older guys.

They also tended to get stuck with some of the worst duties on the schedule.

Which was why, on the morning of the first snow of the year, they'd been given graveyard duty. This meant that they were out patrolling—roaming—the streets looking for trouble at the coldest, darkest, bleakest part of the night, when even the trouble makers were all in bed.

Well, not all of them. It was beginning to look as though someone had set fire to a house in the area.

So the fact that he and his squad were coming home at five thirty in the morning was no surprise at all.

The fact that they had Vice Commander Yaminami with them _was_ a surprise.

The fact that they ran into Vice Commander Hijikata and Captain Okita on the way; that was a flat-out shock to the system.

Toudou had heard rumblings earlier about Hijikata-san and Okita-san not coming back from town but had paid it little mind. After all, not even the remaining Ishin-Shishi slinking about the capital would dare to mess with those two. As individuals, they were deadly. Together, they were a walking natural disaster area. So he had tried to put it out of his mind.

He needed sleep.

The squad who got stuck with graveyard watch had no choice but to split their sleep.

During the day they performed all their usual duties and training, slept as much as they could manage after dinner, stood patrol from midnight until five, and tried to get a quick nap in between returning to headquarters at around five thirty and first muster at six thirty.

Splitting sleep was hard enough to do on principal, but some of the older guys liked to get loud and obnoxious after dinner just to keep the squad on graveyard watch from sleeping. They thought it was a big joke.

Until Kormaru was killed.

He wasn't out manned in numbers in a fight, or even over-powered by someone better then he was.

No.

They'd had five straight nights on graveyard watch, and the seniors went out of their way to make all five of those nights as miserable as possible.

On top of that they'd also had their usual daytime duties to perform; training, cleaning, supply runs, and of course, rotating through gate guard duty.

Kormaru fell asleep.

On gate guard duty.

Vice Commander Hijikata had not demanded Toudou's head, which he should have done since the squad captain is responsible for his people. But he did demand Kormaru's.

For his part, the guy took it well.

Toudou had assumed that Kormaru would ask him or one of the other members of their squad to be his second.* That was tradition.

Instead, he chose the one guy, more than any other, who had made a point of keeping them all awake. And while Kormaru himself never asked for concessions, Okita-san had gone to the Vice Commander and demanded that all the guys responsible be made to sit in the front row.

Toudou was alive thanks to the Vice Commander's mercy, and though his squad still got more graveyard watches than was strictly fair, no one disturbed their sleep, thanks to Okita-san.

So when Toudou realized who it was walking ahead of them he called a halt to his squad and looked to Vice Commander Yaminami for orders.

For his part, the Vice Commander put the lieutenant in charge and waved Toudou to his side. "We'll go on ahead and see what's wrong."

And see it they did.

"Vice Commander Hijikata, sir, is Okita-san—," he began to ask before he could stop himself.

"Toudou."

"Yes sir?" the Vice Commander's voice was as rough and pain-filled as Toudou had ever heard it.

"We're going home," was all he would say.

"Yes sir," said Toudou.

Vice Commander Yaminami nodded in response to Toudou's silent question, after which the young Captain called his squad forward to take up positions on either side of the Vice Commanders and Okita-san for the escort home.

He made a point of taking the front position of the left column. Not that it was a particularly dangerous position; he just didn't want his men to see him cry.

It was bad enough that they got stuck with such a newbie for a captain, and that they were paying dearly for it. But if word got out that the baby captain was a cry baby captain, well, there would be no help for it.

Toudou would have to resign his position just to ensure the squad's safety.

And so he stayed out front of the column in case his emotions should betray him.

And when they reached the gates he waited, face set in stone, until the Vice Commanders, carrying Okita-san, had gone in.

And after he marched his squad in and dismissed them, he continued to bury it all beneath the reams of paperwork and watch reports he needed to complete.

He held it together until approximately six fifteen when his friends and fellow squad captains rushed in, wanting to know what had happened.

At which point nineteen year old Toudou Heisuke, The Shinsengumi's youngest squad captain, completely broke down.

 _ **Notes:** * Seppuku is the term used for ritual suicide. Some westerners refer to it as hari kiri._

 _* A second is the person who is tasked with the duty of taking the head of the one committing seppuku, in order to allow him a quicker and more honorable death._


End file.
